Toy Care, Deep Throating, & Comfortable Sex Positions

Hello my friends and welcome to another session of Ask Jay. I'm your host, Jay, a sex-positive gentleman from Nova Scotia. I'm here to answer your burning questions so let's dive right into the learning process!

Neat and tidy asks: What is the proper way to sanitize and clean your sex toys? Is there a method you guys recommend?

Jay answers: With most toys you can get them clean using a combination of soap and warm water, much like you would clean a plate or a drinking glass. However, for added cleanliness and safety I recommend using a product which contains anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties. One in particular I can recommend is Sliquid Shine. It's good for most toys, vegan-friendly, and you can just spray it on and then wipe it off the toy's surface.


Stay clean, stay safe.

After you finish cleaning your toy, dry it off with a dry towel and place it back in its drawer or bag. I recommend against leaving toys to dry on the bathroom counter or in a sink as those surfaces are often homes to bacteria.

 

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Digging deeper asks: I want to learn how to go deeper when giving my husband a blowjob - any advice on learning to deep throat?

Jay answers: Certainly, I can offer a few tips. One is to ease into the process. A big part of getting good at, and enjoying, any sexual act is practising in a comfortable situation. So take your time, practise at your own pace. I suspect your husband won't mind being your practise partner on a frequent basis as you hone your skills. Take your time, try going a little deeper (or going deep a little longer) when it feels right. Don't push yourself or rush. The more you practise without putting pressure or stress on yourself the more familiar having your husband's penis in your throat will feel and the easier deep throating will become.

If you'd like some help in the process there are sprays you can get which will help relax your throat. The Deeply Love You Throat Relaxing Spray should help you relax and avoid triggering your gag reflex while you're going down on your husband.


Your husband's new favourite product.

One significant factor in how deep you can take a penis into your mouth and throat is the angle it enters your mouth. Different men have penises that curve in different directions and so you might find one angle is difficult to work with while from another he slides down your throat with nearly no effort. Experiment with different positions when you're giving head. Try on your knees in front of him as he sits in a chair or on a couch. Try 69ing him or kneeling beside him on the bed when he is lying down. Try getting him to lie down and rest your head on his stomach as though he were a pillow, with your head facing toward his member and feet. Basically, come at his shaft from all angles until you find the one where his penis slides down your throat the easiest.

 

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Coming at things from a new angle asks: My wife is suffering with sciatica nerve pain and standard sex positions are really uncomfortable for her. Do you have any advice for sex with physical limitations?

Jay answers: I'm sorry to hear your wife is struggling with sciatica pain. That kind of discomfort is no joke. My partner sometimes struggles with back pain and so we have a little experience in this area.

One thing you can do is just try different positions to see if any feel better for her. Even if you're not having sex at the moment, encouraging her to find positions she can hold for a few minutes. Maybe ask her to try some variety - whether it's on her hands and knees, on her side, on her back, face-down and lying flat on the bed. Once she knows which positions she can hold for a while you two can work on getting yourself into a position to match.

There are special types of furniture and sex swings which are especially designed to make it comfortable to hold sexual positions without putting undo discomfort on the participants. Sex swings are quite similar to yoga swings and the latter is easier to search for on-line without shocking other people who use your computer.
I'm flying, Jack!

The furniture I mentioned is usually curved or angled in a way which makes it easier to sit or lie on without putting effort on holding the position. You can see some examples here of sex position furniture in action.
More fun than the average bean bag chair!

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Slippery when wet asks: Is coconut or olive oil safe to use as lubricant? I keep getting mixed messages online.

Jay answers: I'm sorry to report coconut oil and olive oil are not good lubricants. I advise against using anything you'd usually find in a kitchen as a sexual lubricant. This includes olive oil, yogurt, dish soap, and vegetable shortening.

You might be wondering why and the reason is these products usually have one or more characteristics which make them unsuitable for sexual use. Some may contain sugars, which are likely to result in a yeast infection, some may include chemicals which kill the healthy bacteria which are supposed to be in your body and this can lead to various health problems like yeast infections and urinary tract infections (UTIs). Most kitchen products are not pH balanced for use in your body, which means they will make your body more (or less) acidic. This is often a cause for irritation or infection. Some of these items may also contain elements which may cause an allergic reaction.

One of the reasons sexual lubricants, particularly water-based lubes, are so popular is they are safe. They're pH balanced, most are hypoallergenic, and they don't contain sugars or oher chemicals that will encourage fugal or bacteria growth.

This keeps things moving without the risk.