Dubious about dental dams asks: Why would I use a dental dam and how? What's the benefit?
Jay answers: For those who might not have encountered a dental dam before, it's basically a thin sheet. The sheet, which is usually fairly small, maybe the size of your hand, is typically made out of latex.
A dental dam is typically used when performing oral sex on a woman. The dam goes over the lady's genitals and acts as a thin barrier between her body and her partner's mouth. The idea is to prevent direct skin-to-skin contact and avoid the mixing of bodily fluids such as saliva.
In theory, a dental dam provides a barrier which will help guard against sexually transmitted infections. They're sometimes recommended to be used when a person wants to perform oral sex a woman or analingus on either gender.
Some people, not wishing to specifically buy dental dams for their intended purpose, will instead buy condoms. If you take an unused condom, unroll it, and cut it along one side it'll unfold into a thin sheet. This sheet is effectively the same as a dental dam.
In practise, dental dams tend not to be used very often. There are a few reasons for this. One is they reduce sensation and most people want to experience direct skin-to-skin sensations when receiving oral sex. Another is there is some debate over how effective dental dams are at preventing the spread of STIs. This may be a "chicken and egg" problem in that not many people are using dental dams so it's hard to measure how effective they are; and since it's unclear how effective dental dams are, not many people use them.
In short, to answer your original question: You'd normally use a dental dam as a barrier during oral sex. This can be accomplished by taking out the dam sheet and holding it over your genitals before your partner goes down on you. Hold it in place until your partner is finished bringing you oral pleasure. Then toss the dental dam sheet in the trash.
The benefit is you may have a lower risk of catching an STI from your partner if he or she has an infection which can spread through the mouth or direct skin contact.
People report dental dams reduce sensation. If you want to try a dam you may wish you pair it with a tingling lubrication to introduce fresh sensations. Place a few drops of lube on your side of the dam so that the lube rubs over your clitoris while your partner licks the outside of the dam.
* * * * *Shopping for the holidays asks: Any tips on what to get my boyfriend for the holidays? I'd like to surprise him with something sexy.
Jay answers: I talked with your boyfriend and what he really wants this year is a blowjob. (You're welcome, Carl.)
All joking aside, I believe it's hard to go wrong with lingerie. Good lingerie, something you feel sexy in, is hard to beat. You'll feel more confident, he'll be pleasantly surprised, and he'll even get to unwrap you! Lingerie is a great present to-you-for-him.
I also think a good flavoured lubricant is a gift which keeps on giving. Sliquid makes an excellent line of flavoured lubes which I've talked about previously.
If your fella is into surprises then consider picking up a remotely controlled toy like the Moxie. Go out on a date and discretely pass him the remote control. He'll be excited and you'll get so worked up from the teasing that you'll both be ready to rip off each others' clothes before you get home!
Power pleasure from a distance
Last, but not least, consider having some boudoir style photographs taken. A collection of sexy, yet tasteful photos for him are sure to be a welcome gift. As an added bonus, invite him to come to the photoshoot with you. Invite him to help you pick out outfits and suggest poses. At the end of the experience he gets to go home with the model which which will be very exciting!