Navigating the lingerie jungle - a guide for men

Hello, gentlemen. I'm Jay, a sex-positive guy from Nova Scotia and today I'd like to talk about lingerie with you. There is something wonderfully sexy about seeing a woman wear lingerie you've picked out for her, isn't there? I love it, the way an elegant piece of clothing can tantalizingly reveal parts of a lady while hiding just enough to spark the imagination. I'm a big fan of seeing my partner in lingerie, especially if I picked it out for her. Knowing she's enjoying wearing it and knowing I'm going to enjoy taking it off of her provides a great source of flirtatious desire.

The challenge, I find, is knowing which lingerie to select, especially if I'm planning to surprise her. Over time I've discovered some tips that make picking out lingerie easier and which have usually yielded selections my partner enjoys. This was not always the case so I would like to share some things I've learned along the way in the hope my hard-won wisdom will be of use to you.

Let's get started


First, make her comfortable


The first and probably best tip I can offer you is to keep two things in mind when browsing lingerie. First, lingerie should be comfortable and, second, it should be sexy. That is, she should be comfortable wearing it and feel sexy in it. Ideally, you should find something your lady will want to wear because if she doesn't feel comfortable putting it on, then you don't get to help her take it back off.

 I mention this because it is so easy to get wrapped up in what we feel looks good, in the shop or on a model. There are lots of designs which look appealing, to us, but which will be awkward or uncomfortable for her to wear. Tight latex looks shiny and amazing, but is it going to feel good against her skin? Leather is naughty and raw, but is she going to feel too hot or chafed wearing it? The bottom line is that, unless you know your partner has a fetish for latex, leather, or straps-n-buckles then it's probably best to find her lingerie which feels comfortable to wear. Think more along the lines of a chemise rather than a corset. (Don't get me wrong, corsets are amazing too, but they are very particular in their fit and she should probably be the one to pick out the one she wants if she's into corsets.)

With corsets there is a fine line between "fits perfectly" and "can't breathe".


On a related note, unless you and your partner have discussed role playing costumes (such as a naughty nurse or slutty police woman outfit) it's probably best to stick to classic lingerie styles rather than fetish costumes. Think more along the lines of sensual evening wear and (unless she has suggested it) less like a naughty cheerleader outfit.

Save this one for Halloween

Measure twice, purchase once


My second piece of advice is know what size your partner is before you head out to the store. Take a peek at your partner's underwear and bra tags to get her measurements. You don't want to get to a shop and find yourself trying to explain to a clerk with vague hand gestures how big your girlfriend's cup size is. (That's embarrassing, trust me.) Telling a clerk your partner is "About a medium" isn't particularly helpful either. Also, your partner will probably not be thrilled if you pick out lingerie that is a few sizes too big or too small, even if she appreciates the overall gesture.


So look at the size tags on her existing clothes and maybe write them down before you head out to browse the lingerie racks. You'll be able to explore lingerie options with more confidence when you know for certain your partner wears, for example, a 38C bra with medium panties. It'll also help the store clerks track down items for you. 

You do not want this situation


Look at past examples


Returning to the issue of comfort and style, chances are your partner may already have a preference for a style of lingerie. Some ladies like long, flowing robes; some like tiny skirts; some like lots of criss-crossing straps. Consider lingerie she already has in her closet, if there is any. This will give you a better idea of what she finds flattering and comfortable on her. Picking something in the same category, even if it's a slightly different style, will probably make her feel more at home with your selection.

This is an extreme example


On a similar note, it doesn't hurt to know what her favourite colour is. If she loves purple, you'll do better with a soft purple outfit than a bright orange one. When in doubt, go for something black. Everyone looks good in black.


Perhaps most importantly when it comes to finding new evening attire for your girlfriend, consider what kind of panties she usually wears. A lady who usually wears boy cut underwear probably won't feel comfortable in a new thong. Likewise, a lady who wears cheeky retro thongs won't be happy with new underwear that is too minimal in the front. Keep in mind what she usually wears and feels comfortable in and then try to make your new purchase match.

In case, like me, you had to look up what a retro thong is


Highlight what makes her feel sexy


My penultimate advice is to consider that one of the goals of lingerie is to highlight the parts of a person they like while coyly covering the parts they don't. We all have parts of our bodies we don't enjoy or would like to improve and, hopefully, most of us have parts we regard as being sexy. Good lingerie draws focus toward the parts a person likes and away from the ones they don't.


Has your wife mentioned she likes how her legs look, but isn't a fan of her breasts? Try to find lingerie that is short in the leg and places an alluring lacy pattern over her chest. Does your girlfriend like her shoulders, but not her stomach? Look for outfits with thin shoulder straps that place opaque material across her mid-section. This will help her feel the way you think she looks: sexy.

Study these carefully, gentlemen.


Ask for directions


Finally, some of the best advice I can offer is to get the opinion of the people working in your local lingerie shop. The people who work in these establishments often meet with dozens of women each day. They hear what ladies like, what feels uncomfortable, which outfits poof out in unflattering ways, and which ones compliment different body types.


These employees are a valuable resource and, armed with your girlfriend's measurements, can often tell you what other ladies of the same size & shape declared their favourite items. They can also tell you what types of fabric, especially when it comes to bras and panties, are popular and more comfortable. Asking the clerk for their suggestions and confirming measurements with them will make you look like a genius when you get home with an outfit that thrills your partner. In short: trust the experts. Good luck and happy hunting!