Where the hell is my G-spot?
Legit advice for the holy grail of orgasms.
I’ve heard G-spot orgasms referred to as the ‘Holy Grail’ over a hundred times during the research phase of this article! I can’t help but laugh a little each time I read it – my mind automatically envisions an Indiana Jones scene during the Last Crusade. Mind you, young handsome visions of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery aren’t a bad thing, especially when searching for great big O’s.
So, is the G-spot real? Science says it is. Discovered WAY back in the 50’s by a German named Dr. Grafenberg. (Oh those Europeans, always one-upping us in the sexy department!) The G-spot didn’t start rising to fame until the 80’s however, and women have been on their own crusade ever since.
We’ve ALL read countless articles telling us:
- What it is – A rougher patch of skin about the size of a quarter. Made of spongy erectile tissue that swells with blood. (Just like a penis!)
- Where it is – One to two inches inside the vagina. Located on the ‘front wall’. The same side as your belly button.
- How to stimulate it yourself – Prop your butt up with some pillows, put on some water based lubricant, and slide your middle finger into your vagina, keep your palm down (almost like you are palming your clitoris) Your finger will naturally curve and you just need to move it around until you feel a rough patch of skin.
- How to have a partner stimulate it – essentially the same steps as above. Have your partner use a ‘come here’ motion with their finger or a tapping motion.
- The best sex positions to stimulate it – missionary with lots of pillows under your bum, from behind, and woman on top.
With that kind of advice filling up magazines, why haven’t we all been knocking out big G-spot orgasms all the time? None of that advice is bad, or wrong, but it is very vague. Too vague to be really effective. There is a whole pile of crucial information missing. We’re going to guide you to G-spot orgasms step by step. This is going to be a long article, but worth the read!
The first thing we’ve got to do is understand the process of female arousal and realize that your G-spot is the last part of your body to join the sexy party. It’s not going to rise and shine nearly as quickly as your nipples or clitoris and unless your mind has been in the gutter and you’ve mentally gotten yourself really hot and bothered, chances are you’re not going to find your G-spot during a so-so sack session.
Did you know that it takes between 20 and 25 minutes for the female body to become fully aroused? That’s the amount of FOREPLAY time it will take your body to become an orgasm producing machine!
Now we all have our moments where we can go from zero to 60 (love those days!) and there’s not a darn thing wrong with a good old fashioned quickie, but those are not the days to be trying out G-spot techniques. Save the exploration of the G-spot for times when you actually have time and some stamina.
Start doing Kegel Exercises with a great set of Kegel Balls. I could easily go off on a 10 paragraph tangent here about the benefits of Kegel exercises and why we should all be doing them, but I will leave it at this: The strength of your PC muscles are directly related to your ability to orgasm vaginally. Stronger muscles are going to do a lot of good things for your lady parts. The bigger the muscles, the more blood flow. The more blood flow, the more arousal. The more arousal, the more lubrication. The more arousal and lubrication, the easier it is to achieve orgasm. The bigger the muscles, the stronger the orgasm.
Set the stage for success. There are a few little things we recommend that can help you clear your mind of distractions and let you really focus on your sexy self. Get in the zone with a long hot shower or bath and your favorite grooming rituals. A glass of wine and a pretty nightgown, a candle on the nightstand. These things might seem a little cliché, but they act as a sort of mental foreplay for most of us and it’s always nice to take a little extra time for yourself. You know what rituals get you feeling sexy and special, so pull out all the stops and pamper yourself. Get your partner to do a little extra grooming too! Have them pay close attention to their fingernails and facial hair – sharp edges on their nails or beard scruff can irritate your sensitive skin or even be quite painful.
Before you get down to business, make sure you have a pee! A lot of us will feel a strong urge to pee during G-spot play, and while it will pass after about 2 -10 seconds, it can be enough of a distraction to ruin the moment.
We find it also helps to throw a big fluffy pillow down on the bed that you can rest under your hips and a nice absorbent towel over that. The pillow is to help you tilt your pelvis forward and the towel is mostly for peace of mind, you may not need it, but you might and who wants to get sidetracked about wet spots on the bed if you can avoid it.
If you’ve tried the pillow technique with a partner and it didn’t work well for you, check out a sex sling. Essentially, it’s a positioning strap with long adjustable handles. Slide it under your bum and give the handles to your partner. They can adjust the angles perfectly with it, and it’s great for all kinds of other sexy positions too!
Have the right tools on hand for the job. Especially if you are searching for the G-spot solo. Most of us just don’t have the dexterity to reach that far for that long without getting a hand cramp! G-spot orgasms need long sustained stimulation, particularly those first few attempts.
We recommend using a great G-spot dildo with lots of ridges and texture or a nice powerful G-spot vibrator, even if you are exploring G-spot play with a partner.
The average man will climax in 4.5 – 7.3 minutes of continuous thrusting. That’s not usually enough time for a woman to have a G-spot orgasm. Use the G-spot toys during foreplay to explore and stimulate the G-spot so that it is nice and sensitive and fully plumped up for intercourse. This way, when you do get down to intercourse, both of you are going to be super turned on and primed for great big climaxes.
Look for these key features in a G Spot Vibe or dildo.
- Shape - Curves are crucial. The shape of a G-spot vibe or dildo will be slightly curved. Designed to nestle up snugly against the front wall of the vagina.
- Length - yup, it's more important than girth. A good G Spot vibrator or dildo has got to have some reach to it. Angle is often the key to finding that bundle of nerves and having a toy with a good long reach gives you lots of maneuverability.
- Bass - Big, deep, resonant vibrations are the key to G-spot O's. You want to FEEL that vibration.
- Texture - Ridges. They are your G-Spot's friend. They drag along the sensitive skin, giving you tons of stimulation.
- Flex - Not to soft, not too hard. The best G-spot toys have a little bit of flex and give to them. They are firm enough to hit all the best spots, but not so rigid that they are uncomfortable.
Take a look at our favorite G-spot vibrators, you'll see a trend in size, shape, and power levels.
Experiment with these toys by yourself and with your sweetie, keep in mind that if it feels good, you’re doing it right. We often tell clients that pursuing a G-spot orgasm is half the fun. You may not get it every time, but as long as you’re enjoying yourself, it will be pretty exciting to try again!
Master great technique. The G-spot is really close to the entrance of your vagina. Whether you are using a finger, dildo, vibrator, or a penis, the key to stimulating the area to the max is SLOW & SHALLOW thrusts. The head of a penis and most G-spot toys have an amazing texture and you want a shallow thrust that drags that texture all along the sensitive bundle of nerves. You may be doing everything else perfectly, but if you are going too deep, you’re skipping right past that sensitive spot. Your partner may even feel like he’s going so shallow that he might ‘pop out’, that’s why it’s so important for him to go slowly.
Two great positions to try with your partner:
- Lay face down on your bed and prop your hips up with 1 or 2 pillows. This position is perfect for shallow thrusting from behind. Rather than the traditional ‘doggy style’, which can be too tempting for your partner to take it slow, or shallow!
- Your legs over his shoulders. A pillow under your hips works great here too, it gives an even deeper angle. When in the position, remind your partner not to go too deep, if he bumps into your cervix it can be a bit of a moment ruiner.
Don’t forget about the clitoris! And the labia. And the mons. Basically, show some love to it all! Your lady parts are a finely tuned machine and given enough time and TLC, they will all work together to help you rock out great big orgasms. Maybe today it’s a clitoral orgasm, tomorrow it’s a G-spot orgasm, and the next day it’s a blended orgasm (clitoral and G-spot).
Step 7If at first you don’t succeed……Ok, I know, I’ve already told you the pursuit is half the fun and to enjoy looking for it so I’m not going to say it again. But I will leave you with this one final and fun fact. The older you get, the more likely you are to have a G-spot orgasm. Yup! So, if you looked for it in your twenties or thirties, didn’t find it and gave up forever, you may want to look again! The reason behind this is estrogen – in young women with high estrogen levels, the vaginal lining is quite thick. This can prevent the G-spot from being stimulated. As we age and our estrogen levels decrease, the vaginal lining becomes thinner, and we get more stimulation because all of the nerve endings are closer to the surface. We will often hear women say the older they get, the better the sex. Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you, very much!