The Lelo F1 Developers Kit

Vrooooom! The engine roars to life and settles into the healthy growl of a jungle cat. It rumbles and hums, poised and ready for action. Elle adjusts her driving gloves, fingers resting gently on the controls.

"Ready?" she asks.

"Ready," I nod.

She revs the engine once and then brings the cylinder sliding down onto my cock in one smooth motion.

 

Introducing the F1

 

I should back up a bit and explain. Hi, I'm Jay, a sex-positive gentleman from Nova Scotia. This weekend my partner, Elle, and I had a chance to try out a new-to-us toy called the F1 Developers Kit. The F1, which appears to borrow its name from Formula One auto racing, is a sex toy for men that has a shape and size which brings to mind a red Alexa smart speaker. In fact the F1 even has a ring around one end of the cylinder which lights up when it charges. 

Pro tip: this device does not help you purchase books

 

The F1 has a charge port, an on button, and up/down buttons at one end. At the far end is an inviting hole with a rubbery, almost condom-like entrance. Down one side of the cylinder is a view port where we can watch what is happening inside. Through this port we can see various mini machines that will be used to apply vibrations and pressure inside the tube.

 

The toy ships with a very simple instruction manual that is almost exclusively pictures. The package also includes a USB charge cord and a pair of red, fingerless gloves. The gloves appear to hold no practical value and I think are only present to encourage a connection between the toy and auto racing.

 

One might wonder why the toy is called the F1 Developers Kit, I certainly did. Apparently the Lelo company makes its software development kit (SDK) available for smart phone developers who want to create their own app for the toy. The F1 can be controlled wirelessly using a Bluetooth connection to your phone (iOS and Android are supported). When the F1 is powered on we can run its phone app and remotely monitor and control the speed and pressure the F1 provides.

 

At first I wasn't sure where to find the official F1 app. It turns out that the download link for the app can be found in the toy's manual. The manual can be found on-line by scanning a QR code on the paper instructions which come with the toy. This is a bit round-about, but Elle eventually got the app installed on her phone and we were off to the races! 

It's about to be in the pole position

 

Early impressions and connecting with the app

 

The F1, when it's turned on, makes an engine revving sound, like a sports car coming to life. We also found that pressing the plus and minus buttons on the bottom of the device cause it to make higher or lower revving noises, as though the person holding it is running a transmission through its gears. This seems to all be done as special effect, not the result of any practical function of the toy.

 

Getting the device to connect to the phone app, once we found the app in the on-line instructions, went smoothly. Once we got it connected we were shown an app screen with dials and readouts and statistics. Pressing the plus and minor buttons and scrolling through the options did nothing and the F1 sat idling for a while. Eventually we found out a power button in the phone app needs to be tapped before the device will respond, even though it is already on and connected.

 

At this point we found we could control the pressure the sides of the device would apply and the speed of the vibrations through the phone app. As far as we could tell the plus and minus buttons on the F1 itself only control the speed of the vibrations, not the pressure or intensity. Fine tuning the experience is left up to the person running the app - Elle, in this scenario.

 

Trying out the sensations

 

So now we're back to the point where I started, the F1 revving and Elle sliding it onto my mini driver. The first thing we discovered is that while the interior of the F1 is smooth and somewhat balloon-like in texture, it's still, well, dry. I highly recommend using lubrication.

 

Sliquid to the rescue!

 

With lube in place we tried again and I slid into the softly purring F1. Up to about the two-third's distance. I could see through the little window in the side I wasn't all the way into the F1, but it felt like I was running up against something firm and unyielding. I think what was happening was the F1 isn't very wide and the sides are flexible so the interior was wrapped around me. Which was a good way to start things, but it meant there was no room for air inside the F1 to escape. I turned and wiggled a bit and slowly made progress inside, though with a lot of... air rapidly being expelled noises.

 

The inside of the F1 is mostly a straight, round tube about seven inches in length. One side has a bump in it which I think is either supposed to simulate the curve of a vaginal tunnel or apply more pressure near the base of the, ahem, driver.

 

Once I had wiggled my way more fully inside Elle started adjusting the vibration pace. I began stroking the little red engine up and down my shaft. So far not much was happening, the vibrations were making me tingle, but I was still having trouble inserting fully into the F1. We paused for a second lube job, making things more slick. This helped me slide back and forth, but the trapped air in the toy still tended to keep me from filling the whole inner tunnel.

 

For the time being I decided to stop worrying about being entirely inside the F1 and instead focus on enjoying the sensations it could provide around the head of my shaft. On the lower settings the F1 caused a buzzing tingle in my cock which started off feeling good, which of course made me become fully hard.

 

Unfortunately this was when we discovered a few things. One is that, once entirely hard, my shaft was pressed firmly against the inner walls of the F1 and what had felt like a rapid, light buzz at first suddenly felt like tiny jackhammers trying to dig their way into my shaft. The little pistons on the inside of the F1's engine rapidly pulse against the wall of its inner tunnel of love and it feels like being poked with dull knitting needles.

 

We also discovered that even with the pressure and speed settings turned down as far as they would go, the F1 was both too tight for me to properly utilize and its poking sensations too intense. When I was not yet fully erect the buzzing sensation felt pleasant around the head of my cock, but once I was really hard, the device was too tight, too narrow, and its pressure points too focused to be either practical for me to insert myself or pleasurable when I tried.

 

Conclusions

 

When I started exploring the F1 I had trouble deciding how to view the device. At first glance the F1 Developers Kit seems as though it is intended to be a serious, high-end toy. It is made with good materials, it's waterproof, it has a remote control app, and the company claims to provide a toolkit for app developers who want to offer custom experiences. The device is somewhat on the luxury end of the price scale at $232.99 and it ships with a manual.

 

However, once I got the F1 out of the package everything about it felt like a gag gift - the sort of thing guys would give their buddy at a bachelor party and then laugh over throughout the evening. The device comes with fingerless racing gloves that feel cheap and don't have any grip so they're useless for actually holding anything, including the device. The buttons to control the device are at the wrong end so they can't be viewed when the toy is in use, unless you have someone else to supervise/operate it for you. (I was lucky in this case, but I suspect many people using this toy aren't doing so with a partner.)

 

To download the app we need to scan the paper manual to get to the on-line manual which redirects us to the app store, which is oddly cumbersome, especially if you aren't tech savvy enough to know how to use QR codes. When the device is powered on or its settings are adjusted it makes engine revving sounds. This feels both silly and means the toy is incredibly indiscreet, you cannot use this toy unless you have the house to yourself. My neighbours let me know afterwards they heard my experiment taking place.

How I picture my neighbours

 

Finally, the inside of the toy feels too narrow and its action too, well, pokey to be arousing. Maybe if you enjoy rough play and like the idea of little pistons jackhammering your penis then this toy is for you. However, I did not find it pleasurable. Which is too bad, I liked the feeling of the softer vibrations just around the tip of my shaft, but any attempt to use the toy beyond that was impractical.

 

Elle and I had a great time making the device rev, and trying on the red gloves, and generally making fun of the experience. However, apart from the comedic value there was no pleasure to be had with this device.